Take More Selfies; Have More Sex

When was the last time you had a “Damn girl! You are sexy!” moment?

Hopefully it was just five minutes ago when you caught your reflection in the mirror, if not, join the club.

As a mom who is indoors, alone, about 90% of the time, normally covered in baby spit up, left over lunch, and probably a good amount of boogers too, it can be hard to feel sexy at times. Who am I kidding, it’s hard to feel sexy ever!

‘Heyyyyyyyy Hunny! Don’t I look fantastic in my saggy mom jeans and vomit covered t-shirt…Yep, I bet you want me right now.’

That was me. Frustrated that I felt frumpy all the time, but stuck in a rut when it came to my makeup and comfy mom clothes. I mean if no one is going to see me, why in the world would I put on nice makeup and cute clothes?

And then 2017 rolled around. And for some crazy reason I felt the urge to do a personal photo shoot. Save the random hurried slefie here and there I hadn’t done one in a long, long time.

Back when I was a teenager and newly wed, I would go out with friends on what we called a ‘photo adventure’. We’d get dressed up cute and spend the whole day setting the self timer and vamping in front of the camera in any location we came across. It was so, much, FUN! Then of course I got a little bit older and started feeling silly posting selfies on Instagram or other social media sites. Fast forward a little more and I had babies; I mean everyone would much rather see a picture of my babies than me right?


It’s your Instagram feed for a reason Babe, start acting like it belongs to you rather than to your kids!

Now I’m not talking about going overboard on the selfie-every-five-minutes train, but for gosh sakes woman! Get out from behind the camera once in awhile! Take a picture of yourself! 

‘Oh but that’s vain.’ you might be thinking, but is it? Is it vain to take a moment for yourself? Is it vain to realize the beauty you actually are? Is is vain to up the sex appeal even if just for your husband’s sake? Not in my book.

So often I find women, mom’s especially, struggling badly with self esteem issues. Most women don’t get in front of the camera because they don’t like themselves.

“Oh I don’t really like pictures.”

“I’m not photogenic.”

“Selfies are so childish.”

Have you ever told one of these lies to cover up the fact that you’re not comfortable in front of the camera? Maybe not even comfortable in your own skin?

Do you ever struggle when you see pictures of yourself and think ‘Ew, just ew’, or ‘I need to change this, this, and this’.

I think we all do.

That’s why I’m challenging you to get in front of the camera. Just you. Don’t hide behind your babies or a cup of coffee. Put on some makeup, get out of your  jammies, and vamp girl, vamp! You might be surprised at the rush of emotions you eperience. 

Okay, so what does any of this have to do with sex?

Yep, getting there.

After you’ve taken a moment to be in the spotlight, flip through your photos. Now I’m not saying that there aren’t going to be a couple dozen you delete on the spot, but what about the gem, the one where your eyes are sparkling? Or the moments you caught that far of gaze and the beauty that settled over your features surprises even you.

You may be caught off guard at what you will see when you get in front of the camera.

And here’s where the sex part comes in.

When I was younger and was in front of the camera all the time, I knew I was sexy; why, because I saw it in my photos! I’m not saying that to be vain, I’m saying that in confidence. I had confidence, and it was evident everywhere I went and in everything I did. A few months ago you’d be hard pressed to find my face in a photo because I didn’t feel good about my self so I wanted to hide. Well, that also transfers over into everything I do.

Since the start of the new year and my just-for-fun photo shoot that led to so much personal inspiration, I’ve started dreaming again. Dreaming of the photos I’ll take with me in them. How I’m going to do my hair, my makeup, what clothes I’m going to wear. And as I sift back through the photos I’ve taken, once in a while I just have to say “damn girl! You’re sexy!”

Some photos I keep to myself, some I share on Instagram, some I send to my husband *wink-wink*, but that best part in all of this is my self confidence is slowly being restored. I feel pretty, I feel desirable, I feel sexy again; and all I can say is my husband is appreciating it….A LOT.

So won’t you come on a journey with me?

I dare you, I double dog dare you, to put on a cute outfit, throw on a little extra makeup, and get in front of the camera. Just you, all alone. What do you think you might discover about yourself when you get there?

Well, I bet you’ll be surprised, I was.

See you in the squares!


PS) To join in on the fun, use #portraitsofdiscovery to come along on my -and I hope many other’s- journey of self discovery. And when you post an inspirational selfie or two, please, please, tag me (@honestlymommy) so that I can support you in your journey of self discovery; I love nothing more than supporting women, especially mommies, and helping them find their inner strength and beauty once again.

PPS) Selfies don’t have to be sexy to build confidence. They can be beautiful, whimsical, silly, etc, take a photo that best fits your personality and then go from there. We’re working to build confidence, the sex appeal will naturally follow. My husband dropped his jaw when he walked in today and saw me all dressed up, he kept asking “are you going somewhere tonight?” That’s when you know you look good 😉

9 thoughts on “Take More Selfies; Have More Sex

  1. Oh em gee! I absolutely LOVED reading this & my only regret is waiting so long to do so! This is so well written and your personality really shines through! I feel like I “know” you so much better! I am totally one of those mom’s who hates being in front of the camera and I will pick out EVERYTHING I don’t like about the way I look. Not gonna lie, I totally went into this being like, yeah still not gonna get in the pic, but you have seriously motivated me! So THANK YOU! I will be using #portraitsofdiscovery in the near future! 😉❤

    1. Thank you for your comment and I truly hope you do! As a mommy I struggled so badly to feel sexy and comfortable in my skin, I feel like I have made huge progress just for taking some time to feel pretty in front of the camera 🙂

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