Oh man. I think I’m opening up a large can of worms here, but can we just be honest? Postpartum sucks. I mean it’s not like you just suffered through 9 months of being fat, but now, after a very intense process of expelling a human being from your body, you’re still fat; if there no justice in the world!?
I remember looking down after having my first baby and seeing this large, rather pointy, tummy still attached to my midsection. I’m like ‘What the heck is that?’ I think all the mommies with their well-meaning advice forgot to tell me about some of the most real struggles that you face after you have your baby; namely your closest. You thought nothing fit while you were pregnant? Yeah, just wait until after you have the baby. No longer are you trying to flaunt the “cute” little baby bump, now you’re trying desperately to hide it, while also having to take into account whether or not your outfit will work for breastfeeding; it’s exhausting!
No, sorry to break it to you, it’s not like in the movies where two minutes after having the baby you just bounce back to your normal size 2 body…Nope, not even close. Even if you’re one of the lucky few who just bounces right back to their postpartum weight, the chances that you have you exact same postpartum body are slim to none.
Boobs. Huge boobs. That’s always my problem.
I’m not quite back to my pre-pregnancy weight yet, but I can squeeze into a pair or two of my “fat” pants that I keep around for just such occasions. My main problem is that my boobs are about 2-3 times their normal size so all my clothes looks ridiculous on me; if I can even squeeze into it. I know quite a bit about body types and how to dress accordingly but UGH! Being top heavy is NOT my favorite.
Imagine trying to squeeze a small pair of melons into a preteen’s bikini top and you’ll get my drift. Speaking about drifts… can I expound upon my midriff for a second?
My lovely little midriff used to be my best asset. I got my belly button pierced at 15 and have almost always had a nice flat stomach to go along with it. *sniff sniff* and now? Well, let’s just say muffin tops are not just for muffins.
Okay, now to be really honest. I did get back to my pre-pregnancy weight after my son; well actually I was skinnier after I had him than before -go figure. But it took a lot of dedication, salads, and 2 mile runs. Yuck. I am not looking forward to getting back in shape after child #2. I’m tired, just a little bit lazy, and since we’re already at the beginning of the summer my current mood is ‘What’s the point?’ I’m going to miss swim-suit season anyways, so I might as well be fat and happy and eat whatever I want right? Right?
And besides, round is a shape.
The mamas know what I’m talking about.