Finding Hope

I found hope today, well actually, I found a rock, but sometimes they’re synonymous I guess…

There is a beautiful bike trail that runs through my town, so I decided to take my kids for a nice long walk today to get out in the sunshine. On our way back I just happened to look by the side of the path and see a bright orange rock with the word ‘Hope’ written on it. It was just chilling there by the side of the trail, it was so odd. 

But if there’s one thing I need right now it’s hope.

My little family is in really hard season right now. My husband is working nights and also back in school so I find myself lonely a lot of the time. Not alone, but lonely. 

I’m with people a lot. I see my husband for a few hours most evenings. I hang out with my sister or friends almost daily. I go a lot of places; church, grocery shopping, to the mall, etc. And of course I always have two little people with me 24/7.

And yet I find that I’m lonely.

I feel it the most when I’m in the car. I don’t know why, but something about driving makes me kind of nostalgic; I think. I find myself tearing up because I’m lonely, so I talk to my son or sing along with the radio.

It’s fascinating to me how we can be surrounded by people constantly and yet be so achingly lonely.

As I reflected on finding hope this morning, and thought about what hope really means I was reminded of a verse; 

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul…” Hebrews 6:19.

If you know anything about Hebrews, you know it’s all pointing towards Jesus; our hope for all eternity. I’ve always loved that verse but for some reason I don’t know if it’s ever really clicked with me until now.

My hope isn’t in tomorrow, cause I might not get that. My hope isn’t in more money; because that won’t make me any happier. My hope isn’t in other people; because no one can make me less lonely. My hope isn’t even that things will get better; because that may never happen.

My hope is God.

Sometimes this seems like a very strange reality as I live out my daily life here on earth. Sometimes I’m so disconnected with this truth that I actually question the validity of it. Sometimes I struggle with the logic of putting all my eggs in an unseen basket.

But then there are days like today, where I’m so lonely I can hardly breathe, because there is a part of me that isn’t satisfied can’t be satisfied by a person, a job, a title, a large following, or motherhood. There’s this deep ache in me to know and be known and to never be lonely again.

Only God can fill that void.

Hope is on the horizon my friend, and for me His name is Jesus.

With Restored Hope,

S.

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