I almost let myself be intimidated out of making memories today.
People always tell me I’m intimidating; I’ve gotten it all my life. You’re intimidating because you’re pretty. You’re intimidating because you dress nice. You’re intimidating because you sing well. You’re intimidating because you’re confident. You’re intimidating because.
Well just because you’re intimidating doesn’t mean you can’t be intimidated.
Each of us have something that intimidates us.
For a lot of people it’s me, or my “type”. You know, the one you’re always calling “that” mom or “that” girl, the one who “always has it all together”. Many a female has told me throughout the years that it’s frustrating that I always have makeup on and am dressed cute. Why? Because they feel like they need to dress up also. Now this isn’t always a negative thing, actually a lot of my friends have thanked me for inspiring them to put a little more effort into their personal style. But sometimes people do it because they feel I will look down on them for not dressing nicely.
Crazy thing is, I never would! I have friends from all different stereotypes and although I personally love fashion, I never pressure anyone to be someone they’re not. I won’t even bring up fashion; I let other people raise that topic with me.
But it doesn’t matter.
Just because of who I am, people are intimidated.
Funny thing is, I get Intimidated for the opposite reason.
Today I wanted to take my son to the park, but I almost let fear get the best of me and rob me of some sweet time with my boo.
You see, I looked nice today. Not that that’s different from most other days, but usually I take into account the activities I plan to perform that day and dress accordingly. If I plan to go to the park I’ll wear jeans and a cute top, the mall a dress, walking a pair of yoga pants and a tshirt. Today I threw on a simple black dress that I bought a few weeks ago mainly because it had easy breastfeeding access; and that’s the honest truth people! What women don’t understand about me is that although I normally dress “cute” to their standards, I’m very lazy! I wear maxi dresses because they’re a more acceptable form of yoga pants. People have no idea how little effort I put into my daily appearance, if they did, they might not find me so intimidating. Anyhow, I paired my lbd with a cute statement necklace and threw my hair up in a 2 minute messy bun. Add to that my 5 minute makeup routine and I was out the door.
I really didn’t think anything about the way I was dressed until I turned up and my grandmas house; “you look stunning!” she said to me, “absolutely ravishing!” As she fawned over my appearance I found myself growing a bit self conscious. She kept asking me where I was going and why I was all dressed up. To say I got dressed up to go to the park was inaccurate and sounded really dumb. I just dressed to be comfortable and in a way that made me feel pretty.
When I rolled up to the park I instantly spotted about 5 other moms totting their children around. All of them were in simple shorts or capris and tank tops; hair in a loose pony tail, no makeup, and sunglasses. If I hadn’t already told my son we were going to the park I would have tucked tail and run.
I get just as intimidated by you as you do of me.
I felt so dumb. Decked out in black looking like an Audrey Helburn wannabe. Talk about inconspicuous. I was embarrassed. All I could think about was how the other moms would judge me and think I was trying to show them all up.
“Z, are you sure you want to go to the park? Maybe we should go back to grandmas.”
“Playground?” Z peered out the window, spotted the park and shouted “Playground!” His little eyes lit up and his feet went out straight in his car seat like they do whenever he’s excited. I knew I couldn’t back out so I reluctantly pulled my mini van in line with the others and took my time getting myself out of the car.
I walked to the park, ignored the stares, and started playing with my son; because honestly who cares anyhow? Who cares if someone thinks I look dumb? Who cares if she’s more comfortable in jeans and I’d rather wear a dress? Are we really so different?
We’re moms, we’re wives, we’re women. We’re all a little (or a lot) self conscious, we cry, we laugh, we love our children, our husbands, our lives. So instead of fearing one another and what “she’ll” think, just be brave mama. Be you.
You are beautiful, your a strong, you are loved.
Or in the words of The Help; ‘You is smart, you is kind, you is important.”
Stay strong mama, don’t be intimidated.