An Open Letter From a Typical Mom at Christmas Time
You can take a hike!
I don’t appreciate your hype, or stress, or the way you always make me feel so inadequate. Perfect little hand frosted gingerbread cookies with three buttons and a smile; I’m a mom, I don’t have time for that!
Or how about finding the perfect gift for everyone on your gift list; do you even know how many stores I’d need to go to for that!? Walmart just won’t cut it this year.
I try and I try and I try, but of course at least one little brat always ends up hating the gift that I chose for them. *cue steam rolling out of ears* I put in all this time and effort into picking out the perfect gift for each stink’in kid and what do I get? A thank you? Oh no that’d be too much. How about a hug? Not on your life.
So really, dear Christmas, I’d just love to get rid of the holiday stress altogether. To kick back a little; actually enjoy the season for once. But as a mom that is strictly not allowed.
I mean besides the baking, and the parties, and the presents, and the pageants, you also know someone -scratch that- everyone is going to be sick. If I could make it through just one holiday event without a sick child it would basically be like the miracle of immaculate inception all over again.
And how ’bout those attitudes?
I know they say the Christmas season and the whole Santa bit is supposed to help keep naughty little children in line; what a load of BS! No, for real, I’m calling it this year. Christmas and myths of a fat man in a red suit ain’t keep’in my little monsters in line.
What I really Want…
Of course you’ve heard the song “All I Want for Christmas,” well let me just say that all this mama wants for Christmas is one simple thing; quiet. Well really, peace and quiet. You know what? As long as I’m throwing together a wish list, how about some good attitudes for a change? Aaaaand a new laptop, iPhone, and camera would be great too. A mini van wouldn’t hurt either.
But really, let’s just keep it simple; peace and quiet, okay?
I don’t mean to harp on you dear Christmas, to be rude, or grumpy, but sometimes it’s all just a little much.
I hope you can understand and that this speech doesn’t land me on the naughty list… Wait, what happens to adults who end up on the naughty list? *gasps* Please tell me they don’t have to go to a Christmas party with all the children who made it on the list? Lord have mercy.
That would be akin to Dante’s Inferno.
This Tired Mom Who’s Just Trying to Make it Through the Holiday Season
PS) I hope you’ve enjoyed my little Christmas photo gallery, the kids and I have been having a blast making this shots over on our Instagram account, if you don’t already follow us, I hope you’ll drop in and say hi!