Finding Authenticity in a Inauthentic World.
Is Comparison Keeping You From Truly Being Yourself?
It’s almost impossible to remain true to yourself in a world filled with constant comparison. So how can you live authentically in world that is fake?
Hopefully I didn’t shock you with that statement, hopefully you’re not angry and ready to leave a strongly worded comment telling me why your life on social media is real. Because if you can’t admit that it’s not, there’s a problem.
Social media is made up of the best moments of our lives. The carefully edited snapshots that we like to call “candids”.
Even those raw, emotion filled posts on Facebook and Instagram Stories are filtered and can be deleted.
It’s easy in this social media saturated world to hide behind a persona that we’ve created.
I mean how often do you post about that savage fight you just had with your husband; you know the one were you swore, lost your cool, and ugly cried. Did you also share that you didn’t talk to him for the next three days before you finally made up?
Or the moment where you’re hiding in your closet from you children because you’re about to loose your sh*t…Again.
That’s real life.
Real Life VS Social Media Life
The real you that can’t be touched by social media. Real life is, and always will be, the unfiltered moments that no one sees. And I’m not saying they should be on social media (actually I really think they shouldn’t), I just want to make a clear distinction between real life and our life on social media platforms.
If tomorrow our entire digital infrastructure were to collapse; would life go on? Yes. Thus why I can confidently say that social media is not real life.
Then why is it so damn hard to keep it separate?
Why does it boil over into my daily life and affect my self esteem?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, social media is a hard mistress friends.
It slithers in stealthily so that you never see it coming.
One day you’re posting photos you love and the next you’re lying awake at night wondering if they’ll like it.
Will the coveted hearts appear after you post? Or will they reject you? Laugh at you? Or completely ignore you?
I think the struggle to remain true to who you are will only get worse as social media gains more ground.
I’ve never struggled so badly with anxiety and self doubt as I have during my journey as a social media mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but putting yourself out there day after day is hard.
It’s hard to stay true to yourself when you’re constantly bombarded by a visual stream of comparisons.
And maybe some of you don’t struggle with comparison; but I sure do.
My house never measures up. My kids never measure up. My love life never measures up. And my life sure as hell doesn’t measure up.
I always find myself wanting.
Stop Comparing; Start Living!
The only way I’ve been able to battle the constant need to compare is by realizing that I’m not in competition with anyone but myself.
Sounds silly but I think one of the main reasons we struggle with one another is because we believe we are all somehow in competition; we’re not.
I am not in competition with you.
When I view the world this way, I stop comparing myself with others and instead just fight to express myself more completely.
I’ve stopped asking “will they like it” and started asking instead “do I like it?”
You will never be able to remain authentic or true to yourself if you’re playing the comparison game.
Sounds simple, but I know it’s hard.
It’s hard not to turn to Google for every answer and to just trust your instincts as a mom.
It’s hard not to compare yourself with the mom who bounced right back after baby number three when you’re still struggling to loose the weight from baby number one.
But then again, nothing about life is really all that easy.
I hope though that we all can learn to embrace ourselves more fully and realize that comparison does nothing but harm us and our relationships with others.
Because unless I’m willing to be myself I will never fully allow those around me to be themselves either.
As my friend Emily said “There’s Enough Room For Everyone“; so can’t we learn to love ourselves and build one another up instead of trying to tear each other down through constant comparison?
Just like Teddy said; “comparison is the thief of joy”; I don’t think this quote has ever been more accurate than in today’s world.
So let’s just stop friends. Love yourself, because you are truly amazing.